Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

It is common sense that Joe Biden is ruining America and is unfit to be president, but why are the liberals still supporting him when Trump is obviously a much better fit for office?

I can read

I see through liars

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What factors contributed to The Beatles' bitterness?

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can count

Why do I get bored with porn so quickly? I can watch maybe half a video (5 mins max) and then get bored and do something else. I don't watch porn often, just a teenager. 17.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Do Marines really not need sleep during combat training or in general? If this is true, how and why is this possible?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Is Tinder the best dating app?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy bullshit

How far does good behavior take you in a prison?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

How can I remove decimals in math?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

How do you identify a woman player?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Why am I always so tired and I don't eat enough?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Isn't it ironic people always talk about how much women hate Donald Trump, when almost any of them would marry him if they could? What he said in the 2005 Billy Bush video, almost every woman would share the sentiment if it got them his lifestyle.

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

How can I fall asleep fast at night?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

How old is planet Earth? Is it 4.5 billion years old or 6,000 years old?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I actually pay taxes

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t cotton to rapists

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions